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Hollywood for ugly people


    A pair of lousy, elected officials

Stop being such a Kamala

    If you're hearing this, you're a slut, ho, loser, dirtball and leg spreader all at once.


    Mental disease afflicting local democrats due to Trump Derangement Syndrome at the shampeachment.

I'm not going nuts

    We think you are, Joe Biden

Indian Princess Running Joke

    Eloserbeth Warren

Mike the Dyke

    Obama's wife


    District of Criminals

Pizza Gate

    A fun, conspiratorial way to walk into a pizza shop, point a gun and have a good time.

The Foreskins

    Our football team


    The good wife.

Benghazi flu

    Hillary Clinton's affliction according to Allen West. He kinda shutup after he heard she has a head clot.


    Party of free condoms


Buy at Amazon. Click above or below pictures

Tail Gunners

    New movie featuring our CIA director and all his cowgirls.


    The United States of Bacon.


Back in Chains

    Where Romney is sending black people according to Biden

Obama rather you be his slave

    Allen West quote



    Romney gave his dog turkey and the dog got diahrea. O


    Even Obama's security can't keep it in their pants when visiting Columbia. And pay the poor hooker her 11 bucks.


    Mitt Romney's campaign strategy. Shake and change it every day.

Mrs. YoMama

    New nickname for Mrs. Obama courtesy of Kansas House Speaker Mike O'Neal

Shootin and beatin & peppa sprayin

    Black Friday D.C. Style

Christmas tree tax?

    Thanks Ho Ho Hobama

I am the Koch brothas' brotha from another motha

    Herman Cain said it...

Honkies for Herman

    Whitey voting for the brotha

The Hermanator

    Republican candidate Herman Cain. He's black and on track. Thinks Occupy Wallstreet are a bunch of whiners. The only candidate with the balls to say so.

Cocaine on a barrel

    What Sarah Palin does to kill time


    What presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is

No Drama Obama

    He's golfing, whatever, during the earthquake.

Citizen's Bank Ballpark South

    An embarrassing nickname (unless you're a Phillies fan) for whatever the real name is for where the Nationals play.

We're all shook up

    Earthquake! Obama did it.

Suicide Contagion Area

    What do you get in all the schools when you elect Michelle Bachman?

Obama Beats Weiner

    Step down Weiner cause Obama say so

Craigslist Congressman

    What you become if you send your ugly photos on the internet to everybody.


    Palin's reference to Russian Space Program

Hizzouse, Hizzy, The Big Crib

    Keepin it real with Obama where he live

Craigslist Congressman

    What you become if you send your ugly photos on the internet to everybody.


    Palin's reference to Russian Space Program

Food Stamp President

    Newt Gingrich's nickname for Obama

Craigslist Congressman

    What you become if you send your ugly photos on the internet to everybody.


    Palin's reference to Russian Space Program


    What you get when a California GOP official pastes Obama's head on a chimp.


    His career has seen better days. Good luck elsewhere.

Bye Bye Haynes-girth

    You are just a lazy bum.

Don't Touch My Junk

    Say no to porno scanners @ the airport

Redskins really blow.

    Thanks Dumbovan


    Albert Haynesworth's self description of himself. Pay me $100 million and I'll be your slave. And he lies down on the job


    Latest government that is taking us down


    Obama must be proud to be the first president to use this word in a speech.

Looking for some ass to kick

    Obama's finally getting mad about the Plume of Doom in the Gulf of Mexico

Welcome Dumbovan

    May all your low throws not McBlow

Attention Walmort Shoppers

    White people. Please leave the store.

Republicans turned off by size of Obama's package

    Only his wife knows the truth regarding his package. Oh. Is this about healthcare? Who cares? Our president is hung!

This is a big F'ing deal

    Biden's public description of Obama's healthcare plan


    OBAMA acronym

F*&#@ing Retards

    How Obama's Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, describes people who disagree with him


    Like a tampon, only more expensive


    New Surgeon General Dr. Regina Benjamin

Light-skinned, African American with no Negro dialect

    Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's description of our president. How come Republicans are racist for saying this, but he's not? Fire him just like Trent Lott was.

26 servants who earn over $1.5 million

    Michelle Obama's hired help courtesy of US taxpayers

Hollywood for Ugly People

    AKA Washington DC


    Fox News/radio guy Glenn Beck's idiotic call to buy gold, guns and God. Since he also plugs for a gold company, this conflict of interest makes him look stupid

Ride Tiger's Wood

    Coming soon to a movie theatre near you


    Redskin fans' anthem. And since you can't bring signs to the game, you can just STFU.


    Democrap's claim that this will solve our insurance problem, according to the Republitards. Whatever.

A Jackass

    Obama's description of Kanye West


    With Obama's new healthcare plan, if you're sick, Obama will personally kill you to save money for the insurance companies.

Obamanure. Obamao

    Just another cute nickname for our President

Weed and Crack

    Things President Obama smoked in his youth. So get out of Michael Phelp's ass or go arrest Obama. Or fine him $100 like in Taxachusetts and be done with it.

Liar, Tramp and Tax Cheat

    Daschle. We are such suckers


    I know it's wrong, but everybody, including me, thought it was hilarious watching that Eye-Racky dude throw 2 shoes at President Bush. The prez did impress me with his athletic reaction.

I feel like the worst coach in America

    Accurate self description by Redskins coach Jim Zorn


    Our first largely-Hawaiian president


    Italian pronunciation for buttholes and a local NFL football player.

A Knee-walking Drunk

    What President Bush claims he wasn't...

Rest in Peace Meast

    Redskins safety Sean Taylor was half man/half beast


    Presidential hopeless candidate Hillary Clinton. The only person who has done more women than her huband Bill is Hillary herself.

Is our children learning? Childrens do learn.

    Genius quotes from our president George W. Bush.

Stuck in Iraq

    Where you'll be if you don't do well in school, according to John Kerry. And don't lie and call it a botched joke, John. You just insulted all our soldiers. Just apologize, loser.

Sista Gate

    What you get when a black congresswoman named McKinney avoids entry procedure at the Capitol, wacks a cop with a cell phone for stopping her, then blames racism and sexism as her reason for assault and agravated battery. Idiot.

Duck. It's Dick.

    Vice Prez Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face.

Georgie. Go invade Iraq

    What God supposably told the President to to...

Thou Shalt Kill

    What Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson preaches.

Deep Throat

    Recent topic of conversation. Unfortunately, it doesn't concern Linda Lovelace and her cinematic fame.

A 3rd World Hell Hole

    How the British newspapers describe Dulles Airport. Not exactly inaccurate, f'shizzle.

Strategery. Don't misunderestimate it.

    One of President Dubya's funniest lines ever. Get it on.


    What President Clinton said after he banged Monica Lewinsky

Mayor for Life

    You know him as Marion Barry and he's back. Just a councilman, but he's back.


    Term for Clinton's crony who stole 911 info and stashed it in his sock. A more accurate description may be Skivy-gate?

The Fruit Loop

    Interesting nickname for DuPont Circle

The Spur

    Rushhour parking lot at northeast corner of beltway


    If it can be done with less paperwork, I don't want to hear about it

A Blank Stare

    Typical DC Greeting

The Skins

    Beloved football team

Bean Pies

    Local vendors' specialties


    Holes in the road your car hits

The Metro

    Excellent underground public transportation

WORE Shing Ton

    How many pronounce our town

Chevy Chase

    Nearby town

Inside the Beltway

    The more desirable place to live

Old Town

    Local historic neighborhood with lots of bars

Getting "RIFed"

    Reduction in force (Gov't layoffs)

The Hill

    Where laws are made and bars visited

Talk Like the Locals in Paris, France


The Mall

    Where the monuments & tourists are

The Gore May

    Big store for food shopping

The Compost

    Famed local newspaper

Beltway Bandit

    Consulting company which does lots of government business




Free iPad App



Fun Spanish is a breakthrough for learning Spanish

Find your phrase in the left column. Say the fun phrase in the middle column with emphasis on the RED word or object. That's all there is to directions for Fun Spanish. Crank up your computer's volume to really enjoy the sound bytes. Links to more phrases below.

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Old Spanish
(difficult, boring, impossible)
(easy to learn, cool, fun)
Como va?
(How's it going)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Bien y tu?
(Fine and yourself?)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Con gusto
(With pleasure)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

(good or nice)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo quiero...
(I want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(He or she wants)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(We want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo te quiero
(I love you)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Very beautiful
(muy bello)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

Fun Spanish nouns & verbs A-F | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs G - L
Fun Spanish nouns & verbs M - Q | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs R - Z


Scroll down to print out a mail order form to buy Fun Spanish with a check or money order.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal

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Need a Spanish phrase translated into Fun Spanish? Email it to the author. Click here.

Below is a 2-page spread from my book. Here are the directions. Note how much easier these directions are compared to any of the thousands of Spanish learning guides out there. (1) Find what you want to say on the left page. (2) Follow the arrow to the right page (3) Say the Fun Spanish phrase quickly with emphasis on the starburst word or image (4) The Spanish follows. (5) Learn to string together numerous phrases which will make you sound very competent. (6) Draw your own pictures to help with memorizing and pronounciation. Fun Spanish works because it's just English and you CAN'T make a mistake!! Don't ever waste your money on a Berlitz or Inlingua product again.

Here are 2 pages from my book. There's lots more information below!

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My book is divided into 5 chapters: Greetings, Helpful Phrases, At the Restaurant, Questions and a Fun Puzzle. Fun Spanish is 5 1/2 inches by 8 1/2 inches, 24 pages with large, easy-to-read type, plenty of art and perfect for a trip or a lesson for students. You'll love teaching children with Fun Spanish. All ages love it. There's also a Fun Spanish puzzle in the back that you can play with friends or on a flight.

Hopefully, you can see how fun and easy learning Spanish is with Fun Spanish. Your friends, teachers, students and fellow travelers will be very impressed with your newly-found knowledge. Don't ever let anyone tell you that learning Spanish is hard, difficult or boring. With Fun Spanish, it's easy and fun. Gloria Cudia, from Rockford Park, IL, purchased Fun Spanish for The United Way and loves it for work and her grandchildren. "It's muy fun," she tells us. Thank you for your enthusiasm Gloria.

Here are the phrases you'll learn in my book:
How's it going? • Fine and yourself? • Fine • With pleasure • My pleasure • Welcome • Good or nice • Yes • I must... • What do you say? • Not much, yourself? • What's new? • The good one • In a moment • A little bit • With me? • Can we?.. • Yes/No • That's great • Beautiful • Handsome • Happy • I know/I don't know • Comfortable • My friends • Where do you live? • Here? • Not here? • I'm drinking it • Also? With you? • As if... • I'd like... • Do you have?... • Delicious • I'm enjoying it • With cheese • Some water • With lemon • Drinks • Bacon • Chicken • Duck • Octopus • Sweet potato • Wine • I'm thirsty • Shrimp • Tuna • Asparagus • Pepper • Spinach • Who? • What? • Is it? • Are there? • Where? • How do you say? • How? • I don't know how. Remember you can combine or alter these phrases to create hundreds, if not thousands of new phrases.

There is no better product for learning Fun Spanish. I'm the only person in the world who replaces Spanish with English words. Replacing Spanish with English is a logical, easy and fun way to learn Spanish. Other methods use boring, endless lists of indirect object pronouns and intransitive verbs. Have you tried Berlitz, Inlingua, Rosetta Stone or any of the other methods? They're all the same - a waste of your money. Until now, there was no alternative. Now you have one in Fun Spanish.

Hopefully, I've convinced you how easy Fun Spanish really is. I think it's a shame that we've been brainwashed into thinking it's difficult. Try Fun Spanish. It will change your life. And for only $4.99 plus free shipping, you'll find it a bargain. And remember my motto, If you can speak English, you can speak Fun Spanish!!! I have plans for other fun languages too like Fun Japanese and Fun Italian. Please stop back often for updates and mention my new book to your friends.

Print this form to purchase Fun Spanish by mail order:



Fun Spanish Booklet ($4.99 Each)
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Postage to Canada and Mexico $2.00 per book

Postage to rest of world $4.00 per book






10 books - $40 (Includes Free Delivery to U.S.)
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20 books - $60 (Includes Free Delivery to U.S.)
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Email or call with larger orders
Mike Ellis,





PA residents add 6% sales tax





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1504 Briarwood Court • Phoenixville, PA 19460 USA
(610) 917-0587

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Here's a picture of my daughter enjoying Fun Spanish. She's been speaking phrases in numerous languages since she was 2 years old (she's now 10) with the help of my fun method. I'd like to see every child enjoy and excel at languages like mine does.

There are 2 ways to order Fun Spanish. Print this page for mail order or click on the link below for credit card orders:

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal on Ebay. Free Shipping to U.S.

Thank you.


Mike Ellis
Fun French, Fun Spanish, Fun Italian, Fun Japanese & others

To email the author, click here

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