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Goats Head Soup

    The soup du jour till the Cubbies win it all.


    My Gad. I drove a careful of kids to the Jewels today and it drove me Ban Anna's.

We Love Chick-Fil-A

    Mayor Raum. Stick it and eat it. And there's nothing wrong with gay marriage. As long as the man is gay and the woman is gay...


Buy at Amazon. Click above or below pictures

Viagra Triangle

    Neighborhood in Chicago's near north side known for its preponderancy of singles bars, dance clubs & mostly-affluent older men.



    4th planet from the sun

Tanned and Muscular

    How Blago looks in jail.


Babby Douglass

    Bears quarterback from the 70s. Had wheels, but that's about it.

Yer Gay? That's OK. Yer just like KKK.

    Well said, Cardinal George

Shootin and beating and peppa sprayin

    Black Friday Chicago Style

We are the 1%!

    Chicago Board of Trade Rocks! I worked there and love that awesome, smelly dump. The most dense gathering of millionaires at any given time. Of course, you make a bad trade or error and you're now the 99%. All is fair.


    Carlos Zambrano said it, then took it back. Grow up.

Apple Pickin

    CTA muggers are targeting your smart phones. Be aware.


    Why is anybody surprised?

An embarrassing, Triple A team

    Carlos Zambrano's description of the Cubs

Stalingrad Elementary School

    New name for Little Village Academy after they banned lunches made by the students' mothers.

I am an Emperor

    I look good in a toga, Emanuel joked.


    What we'll get when Rahmses I don't get his own way

RIP Dave Duerson

    Never forget the 85 Bears

Carol Mostly Fraud

    Just another chick running for mayor

Bad LSD Trip, Man

    Good rule of thumb during a blizzard. Stay home. It was probably a conspiracy by Rahmy to help his election anyways.


    We're going down


    Oprah's long-lost, just found half sista


    So Cutler tore a ligament, got sacked 50 times this season and got jacked up another hundred times. Doubtful he wasn't trying.

I'm not even kindofa lesbian

    Oprah quote of the day

Don't Touch My Junk

    Say no to porno scanners @ the airport.

Attention Walmort Shoppers

    White people. Please leave the store.


    Like a tampon, only more expensive

I'm blacker than Obama

    Well, Blagojavich, you're a bigger dick than Obama, but not sure about the color of your dick

Ride Tiger's Wood

    Coming soon to a movie theatre near you

Bay of Picks

    Bears QB Cutler is awesome. 5 interceptions in one game???

Whatchu talkin about Willis Tower?

    What we're now calling the Sears Tower

For Sale. 2 cents

    US Senator's seat, formerly occupied by Barak Obama, now occupied by some Harris con artist. Contact Gov. Rod Blagojevich for details @ (217) 782-6830. And yes this is illegal...

200 Hunjy Pounds

    How much Oprah weighs

Crook County

    Where Nobama's from. Blago too. Says a lot. Only ones more crooked than them is the aldermens.

FLUCK the Cubs

    White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen quote. Only he didn't pronounce the L

Da Bears

    Where NFL wide receivers come to die like Muhsin Drop-haamad

Best Hand Job in Town

    Visit the quaint town of Elgin to experience it

Cluck You

    No more chicken roosts in Chicago

Cat Chow - - - >

    Brainless local's moniker who hid in an airplane's bathroom to snag a free flight. Quick, easy way to go to jail, especially when you're toting marijuana and six antidepressant tablets. Derrr...

Pea Air

    Chicago abbreviation for the field of public relations

Kendra Davis

    Local, big mouth, confrontational wife of a New York Knick

America's Fattest City - 2006

    That's us according to Men's Fitness magazine


    Sox Win. Cubs fans - eat poop.

Judge Nicholas Galasso

    Another worthless, liberal judge you clowns elected. He couldn't even sentence some dude who admitted secretly taking graphic pictures of a partly dressed female hospital patient while she was in gynecological stirrups. Email the judge, Tell him what a sissy he is. Call him too. 312-682-7792. Loser

Ghetto Fries

    Only available at Max's Famous Italian Beef, 5754 N. Western Avenue, Cheekaga,Ill-a-noise. Politically-correct losers need not visit.

Our Lady of the Underpass

    My Gad. The Virgin Mary's under the bridge where the Kennedy crosses Fullerton

Bare'k Pare'k

    So called place to wock yer dog.
    Wiggly Field in Lincoln Pare'k anyone?


    My Gad. Al Franken invented a fish that's eating all the fish in Burham Hairbor???


    What Soldier Field looks like. And now it's losing its landmark status. Doh.

We Luv Lovey

    Beloved Bears coach Lovey Smith xoxoxo

Beach Killa

    Don't let Natarus ruin our Ohio Street Beach with his high rises. And a little high bacteria level ain't never hurt nobody anyways...

My Gad. Is that a Sassage floatin' in da River?

    Nah. Just Dave Matthew's poop.

Chicago Cubs Batting Helmet

    What you better wear to Wrigley Field to protect yer cranium from chunks o' concrete falling on your head. Maybe the Cubs and da Trib will start to disclose this little problemo???


    A northwestern suburb of Chicago officially known as "Hanover Park", full of rat-race types with huge mortgages.

Cardboard Heights & Hoffman's Mistakes

    Two NW suburbs of Chicago, officially Harwood Heights and Hoffman Estates, where housing construction is considered a bit on the shoddy side.

Sponge BAB Square Pants

    Popular cartoon character as only a Chicagoan could pronounce it.


    Pronunciation of the letter after Q

Da Cock

    High atop the John Hancock building


    What out-of-staters call us
    (Freakin Illinois bas$#$%^...s)

Slammin' Sammy

    Cub Superhero Sammy Sosa. Now get outta town. Steroids are for losers anyways.

Clod & Mod

    Claude & Maude


    What we call the Eisenhower

The Taste

    Chicago summertime festival: Taste of Chicago

Polish Broadway

    Milwaukee Avenue between Diversey & Belmont

Da Loop

    Area surrounded by Dah El

Gold Coast

    Ritzy northern Chicago neighborhood

Eye Bees

    Italian Beef Sandwiches



Cheek AH Ga

    Different way to pronounce Chicago

Da Bullz

    Used to be the world's greatest basketball team


    Four minus one

Pal EYE Na

    Paulina street

Da Jeffer

    CTA 6 Jeffery Express from loop to southside

Seven Oh Ate

    Derogatory reference to suburbanites


    Favorite tailgate food


    Abbreviation of Robert


    Narrow sidewalk between houses

Dah Hocks

    Our hockey team

How Air You?

    Chicago Greeting


    Lake Shore Drive (supposedly only spoken by tourists)

Illinois State Circus

    The government

Juneway Jungle

    Rough neighborhood in rogers Park

Clybourn corridor

    Yuppie shopping district

The Friendly Confines

    Wrigley Field

Talk Like the Locals in Paris, France


Da Mare

    Chicago's Mayor


    Plural of you

The Jewels

    Popular food shopping store


    Word to conote Chicago and suburbs

Bubbly Creek

    Southside summer words for Chicago River


    Someone you don't like (fighting words)




Free iPad App



Fun Spanish is a breakthrough for learning Spanish

Find your phrase in the left column. Say the fun phrase in the middle column with emphasis on the RED word or object. That's all there is to directions for Fun Spanish. Crank up your computer's volume to really enjoy the sound bytes. Links to more phrases below.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal on Ebay. Free Shipping to U.S.

Old Spanish
(difficult, boring, impossible)
(easy to learn, cool, fun)
Como va?
(How's it going)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Bien y tu?
(Fine and yourself?)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Con gusto
(With pleasure)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

(good or nice)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo quiero...
(I want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(He or she wants)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(We want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo te quiero
(I love you)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Very beautiful
(muy bello)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

Fun Spanish nouns & verbs A-F | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs G - L
Fun Spanish nouns & verbs M - Q | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs R - Z


Scroll down to print out a mail order form to buy Fun Spanish with a check or money order.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal

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Need a Spanish phrase translated into Fun Spanish? Email it to the author. Click here.

Below is a 2-page spread from my book. Here are the directions. Note how much easier these directions are compared to any of the thousands of Spanish learning guides out there. (1) Find what you want to say on the left page. (2) Follow the arrow to the right page (3) Say the Fun Spanish phrase quickly with emphasis on the starburst word or image (4) The Spanish follows. (5) Learn to string together numerous phrases which will make you sound very competent. (6) Draw your own pictures to help with memorizing and pronounciation. Fun Spanish works because it's just English and you CAN'T make a mistake!! Don't ever waste your money on a Berlitz or Inlingua product again.

Here are 2 pages from my book. There's lots more information below!

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My book is divided into 5 chapters: Greetings, Helpful Phrases, At the Restaurant, Questions and a Fun Puzzle. Fun Spanish is 5 1/2 inches by 8 1/2 inches, 24 pages with large, easy-to-read type, plenty of art and perfect for a trip or a lesson for students. You'll love teaching children with Fun Spanish. All ages love it. There's also a Fun Spanish puzzle in the back that you can play with friends or on a flight.

Hopefully, you can see how fun and easy learning Spanish is with Fun Spanish. Your friends, teachers, students and fellow travelers will be very impressed with your newly-found knowledge. Don't ever let anyone tell you that learning Spanish is hard, difficult or boring. With Fun Spanish, it's easy and fun. Gloria Cudia, from Rockford Park, IL, purchased Fun Spanish for The United Way and loves it for work and her grandchildren. "It's muy fun," she tells us. Thank you for your enthusiasm Gloria.

Here are the phrases you'll learn in my book:
How's it going? • Fine and yourself? • Fine • With pleasure • My pleasure • Welcome • Good or nice • Yes • I must... • What do you say? • Not much, yourself? • What's new? • The good one • In a moment • A little bit • With me? • Can we?.. • Yes/No • That's great • Beautiful • Handsome • Happy • I know/I don't know • Comfortable • My friends • Where do you live? • Here? • Not here? • I'm drinking it • Also? With you? • As if... • I'd like... • Do you have?... • Delicious • I'm enjoying it • With cheese • Some water • With lemon • Drinks • Bacon • Chicken • Duck • Octopus • Sweet potato • Wine • I'm thirsty • Shrimp • Tuna • Asparagus • Pepper • Spinach • Who? • What? • Is it? • Are there? • Where? • How do you say? • How? • I don't know how. Remember you can combine or alter these phrases to create hundreds, if not thousands of new phrases.

There is no better product for learning Fun Spanish. I'm the only person in the world who replaces Spanish with English words. Replacing Spanish with English is a logical, easy and fun way to learn Spanish. Other methods use boring, endless lists of indirect object pronouns and intransitive verbs. Have you tried Berlitz, Inlingua, Rosetta Stone or any of the other methods? They're all the same - a waste of your money. Until now, there was no alternative. Now you have one in Fun Spanish.

Hopefully, I've convinced you how easy Fun Spanish really is. I think it's a shame that we've been brainwashed into thinking it's difficult. Try Fun Spanish. It will change your life. And for only $4.99 plus free shipping, you'll find it a bargain. And remember my motto, If you can speak English, you can speak Fun Spanish!!! I have plans for other fun languages too like Fun Japanese and Fun Italian. Please stop back often for updates and mention my new book to your friends.

Print this form to purchase Fun Spanish by mail order:



Fun Spanish Booklet ($4.99 Each)
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Postage to rest of world $4.00 per book






10 books - $40 (Includes Free Delivery to U.S.)
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Mike Ellis,





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Here's a picture of my daughter enjoying Fun Spanish. She's been speaking phrases in numerous languages since she was 2 years old (she's now 10) with the help of my fun method. I'd like to see every child enjoy and excel at languages like mine does.

There are 2 ways to order Fun Spanish. Print this page for mail order or click on the link below for credit card orders:

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Thank you.


Mike Ellis
Fun French, Fun Spanish, Fun Italian, Fun Japanese & others

To email the author, click here

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