Gonna get impeached for murdering old people

SoHo Karen

Someone who needs a beating

Dead Baby Capital of the World

New York, New York

Alexandria Occasional Cow Fart

Elected Congresswoman Alexandria Occasional Cowfart

The Big Crapple

What we have after our football teams play

Little Brat

Tom Cruise's daughter

Lucy's

Local cigarettes sold individually for a dollar. Caution. The cops may choke you dead if you sell them.

Hinocerous

NFL Giant Henry 'The Hynocerous' Hynoski

The Happy Hippy

NYC Psychologist

Derek Eater

Some fat Yankee ballplayer

Buttgate

Quarterback Dirty Sanchez fail occured when his guard's butt collided with his face

Let them drink 32 ounce sodas

Mayor Gloombag's brilliant advice to the hurricane victims

Department of Perps and Recreation

They hire a lot of convicks without no background check

The ground

Tim Tebow's favorite target

We Love Chick-Fil-A

Mayor Blumbag. Stick it. And there's nothing wrong with gay marriage. As long as the man is gay and the woman is gay...

Hotdog Hooker

Clients include Anthony Weiner and Barney Franks

Queenooklyn

Hot, secluded resort nestled between Queens and Brooklyn

A Cool, Cool, Paris Blog

Click on picture below to visit Paris Breakfasts blog.

Haul Em

Local pronunciation for Harlem

Timsanity

Tebow's not even signed and it's going nuts.

Muppets

Goldman Saks clients. This is not a compliment.

Linsane, Linsational Linderella

Knicks point guard Lin

Mista Kruga

Poor character from Seinfeld who shot himself. Hope he's ok.

How NYC administrators spell school on the sidewalk

RIP Epstein

Up ya nose wida rubba hose

Shootin and beatin and peppa sprayin

Black Friday New York Style

Bye Bye Occupy. Zuke Kooks.

Get a shower and a job.

Zuccotti Lung

What do you get hanging at Occupy Wall Street? Lung infections.

Oakland Riots

Night of the Living Unemployed

Peppa Spray, weed and food

Free stuff for you at Occupy Wallstreet

Set 'em free Feinman

The world's worst judge. Almost as bad as Manhattan Judge "Turn 'Em Loose Bruce" Wright

Lying Lloyd Blankfiend

Goldman Sachs bigwig gets all lawyered up over liar accusations.

We're all shook up

Earthquake!

Sue York City

Too many lawyers and lawsuits.

Ground Zero Payments

If you got sick working on the towers, you ain't gettin any money. But the lawyers got paid. Shoot them all.

Johnifer

What do you get when Jennifer Aniston rides Jon Stewart?

It's a beautiful day in the GAYBORHOOD

We're all gay. Very, very gay. Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness.

Weiner pulls out.

So long Congressman Weinerboy.

Mayor Bloombag Update

He acknowledges enjoying smoking weed, but has every brotha arrested for doing the same. Dick.

Canz versus Hooters

Battle of the Breastes's at the Breast-aurants. Everybody wins.

Congressman Weinerboy

Could he be the next Mayor Crotch??? Will Weiner rise to the occasion as information continues to trickle out of Weiner?

Talk Like the Locals in Paris, France

Perp Walk

What Mayor Bloombag made that French rapist do.

Retard

Lady GaGa

You Mecca Me Hot

Muslim, gay bar to be opened next to 911 Ground Zero Mosque.

Cobra Tweet

Stupid twitter account for a cobra that escaped from the zoo.

Tree Fitty Tree

The price of gaz fitty cent ago.

Us Jews find the Irish to be a buncha drunks

Signed, Mayor Bloomberg

No Supe for You!

The Jets are actually a likeable team and will be back. Just stop bringing up Rex's weird fetishes.

Miracle in the Meadowlands Part 2

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Giants Stink

Merry Cliffmas

Cliff Lee never wanted to come to this dump anyways.

Out Coached. Out QB'd. Out Classed

Putrid Gang Green effort by the Jets. The Rexecution was lame.

Don't Touch My Junk

Say no to porno scanners @ the airport

Revis Island

Nickname of Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis

Giants Stink

Arf arf. They did a month ago.

Jeter the Cheater

He is just dawg crap

Ig Bapple

New moniker for us?

Obama's Mosque

Just move it a mile away from Ground Zero and nobody will care. Is the pres-o-dent such an elitist idiot that he can't imagine what an insult this is?

I hate New York

Love Lady Gaga. Where are her boobs?

Blow-han Santana

Mets pitcher who is owned by the Philadelphia Phillies

Whachoo lookin at?

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New Yuck Giants

Only in New York

When you see the street sign to the right, the hand means stop and the man outline means walk, in every single language in the world. But many signs in New York are malfunctioning so you get both at once. What this means is, if you cross the street with both lit at once,
YOU CAN DIE!!!

Salt Kills

STFU Mayor Bloombag. Let the restaurants do what they want and people won't go if it's bad. They don't need your nanny laws. Dick

Crooklyn

Suburb of Brooklyn

Body Parts

What our rabbis got caught selling recently. Nothing serious. Only trafficking of kidneys from Israeli donors. And were they kosher?

A-Roid or A-Fraud

I can't decide which better describes the New York Junkies steroid abuser, Alex Rodriguez so here are the 2 best. All the New York teams have really accomplished lately is bending over and losing to the Philadelphia teams. Except for the World Series.

The PlaxiCurse

Ding, dong, the Giants are dead. 2 home losses to the Fluffya Iggles. Had Plaxico's penis not turned off the safety on his glock, the Giants woulda been on there way to another Supe. No mo dawg!

Jail Madoff

Tough being the most hated man in NYC. No bail for you. Dag, he even f'ed his own sister.

Glocksico Burress

Genius New York Giants wide receiver who shot hiself, had teammate Antonio Pierce hide the gun all while not possessing no permit and shit. Plex-a-Piece, Plex "Hitman" Burress and Plexiglasshole are runner ups. Now accepting all entries...

Awe-Phil

You witnessed the 2nd annual August collapse of the Mets

Broadway Brett Fart

New Jet's QB Brett Fart. For all the hype, he really blows.

Fugly & Guilty of supplying Oxycontin to Heath Ledger

Mary Kate Olsen. "I didn't do anything, but I want immunity from prosecution." IDIOT

Fertilizer

What the Mets fans are according to new Mets skipper Jerry Manuel

Phillie-itis

What the Mets are inflicted with.

My Entire Team Sucks

The Governor has pulled out

You horny dawg, you, Elliot. I thought his chick was kinda lame expecially for all the commotion

A Freakin' Dolla

How much bagels cost these days in da Bronze

Lap Dance Express

The renamed L Train. Nothing wrong with a bunch of pole-ite ladies giving free lap dances in a steamy train.

A Vegetable Plagiarist

Jessica Seinfeld

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A-Bomb

Recently dropped over Yank's Alex Rodriguez's departure

Dogfighting is a sport

Certainly a fact since it was spoken by Knicks guard Stephon Marbury

R.I.P. Queen of Mean

Leona Helmsley died

My Entire Team Sucks

Not the Yankees... And later, Randy Johnson, miserable prick.

Shut the F*&^*ck Up!

Barbara Streisand's comeback to a heckler at Madison Square Garden

Dial 311

It's the perfect way to find out Oprah Winfrey's phone # or who won American Idol or Is Ray Charles really Stevie Wonder's uncle?

Dopey & ANT Knee

Replacement DJ's for David Lee Roth who replaced Howard Stern. They cannot be worser than Roth.

Illegal immigrants

According to Mayor Bloomberg, we need them to take care of our golf courses, so don't deport them, por favor.

Teen Queen/Coked out whore, fire crotch.

Lindsay Lohan. Tell slanguage not to call you that and it becomes a headline.

Hair's Johnny

Shave and a haircut, whodat Mister Damon?

Rat School

Where all the NYC gubmint workers go to learn about our local vermin. Your tax dollars hawd at woik.

Pennington's Out

Testicle Squirty's in. Go Vinnie the Pooh...

212-772-1081

NYC Billionaire Mayor Mike Bloomberg's home phone. Give him a call. Maybe he'll loan you some money...

Olive Earl

Partner of Popeye

The Big Snapple

Our new nickname courtesy of our new sponsor. I'd rather see "Big Snapper." No comment.

Saturday Nite Lie

Ashlee Simpson pulls a Nilli Vanilli on live TV and gets caught lip synching. Only thing bigger than the lie is her nose...

Here are the liar's excuses (and her dad's too) (Voting disabled)

• The band screwed up
• Technical difficulties
• Acid reflux
• "Oh yeah. I do use voice overs"

Let's Stay Together

What Al Green sang at the Apollo with his fly down. Compounding the problem was the fact that "Big" Al doesn't wear any underwear.

3 Hunjy Thousand Dollars

What you'll pay for living below Lenny Kravitz's condo when his terlit overflows into yours. Eating a lot of Mexican food or what Lenbo?

"Go ahead and throw away the evidence"

What the New York Dept of Health tells you after you find a condom in yer bagel.

Who's yer daddy, New Yawkas?

The Boston Redsox, Jackolantern!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice

How Martha Stewart describes her local cellmates...

GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

Mary Kate Olsen's greeting to her young fans. To quote Joe Dirt, "Dag, she's mean."

97 cats, seven dogs, several reptiles and a sea gull living with four young children and their mother.

A typical Yonkers household?

RatherGate

Come on Dan Rather. Either admit your documents about Bush's war service are a lie or cough up your sources. Book em Danno.

Earl

Leaks out of your tuna sandwich

Pizza Paula

Everyone outside of Brooklyn says "Pizza Parlor"

New Queen of Mean

Move over Leonna, and let Rosi O'Donnell take over. Even Leonna wouldn't say "If you lie, you'll get cancer and die."

Shockey

NFL Giant player. Detested everywhere but here.

How Awe Ya?

Typical greeting

DUMBO

Down under Manhattan Bridge Overpass
(artists community near Brooklyn)

Straphangers

NYC subway riders

Go to Jersey

An insult

Da Gawdfadda

Someone you respect and do not cross

Cruise da duce

Ride on 42nd street

Good Sense a Yuma

A good sense of humor

Turdy Turdin' Lex

33rd street and Lexington Avenue

Whadaya Whadaya?

I am dumbfounded by your audacity

Washda Closendaws

Warning heard on the subways

Poppy Wit a Shmear

Poppy-seed bagel with cream cheese

Less Order a Pie

I would like to order a pizza

BQE

Brooklyn Queens Expressway

L Eye E

Long Island Expressway

Hawbuh

Water between Manhattan and Brooklyn

Huh

Opposite of him (Heard on "My Cousin Vinny"

New Yawk

Where we be at

Long GUY Len

Long Island

Terl It

Toilet

Chalk Lit

Opposite of vanilla

Surfing the Tunnel

Bumpy ride on number 4 express

Tarco

Most say taco

Earl

Mixed with vinegar on salads

Yonkiz and Yonkuz

People from Yonkers

Dawta

Not my son

Egg Cream

Seltzer, milk and chocolate

Cawna Fish Treet

At the corner of fifth street

Joy'k

Someone you don't like

Hawt Dawg Awe da Way

Hotdog with chili, onions & mustard

Da Bronze

Only NYC borough that begins with a "D"

Brender

Most call her Brenda

Brownie

People who ticket your car

Woke Up Smellin' Like Jersey

What Belushi used to say when he woke up with a BAD hangover

Stat Nigh Lynn

Staten Island

Oner Niner

Take the 1-9 train downtown

Cohen

Put Ice cream in it

Doily Boyd

Catches the worm

Pawta Crappa

Outside convenience toilets

NoHo or SoHo

Areas north or south of Houston street

Mob'll Roy

Type of bread (marble rye)

Dah Boat a Yews

The both of you

Hero

Sub sandwich to most (Hoagie in Philly)

Toy Teen

One less than fourteen

Cawfee Regula

Coffee with milk, no sugar?

Mudder

Married your fodder